If Only
by loverofakatsuki
Summary: A mystical creature that feeds off humans sorrows gets the chance to rid one human of the pain. If only it were that easy in real life... Rated M for depression, suicidal thoughts, and lemon. Tobi comments at the end XP
1. Chapter 1

The angelic yet demon-like creature watched with poignant eyes at the pitiful human he was observing. Why? Why was there so much sorrow in the world to ruin those that were loving and compassionate? It seemed like a cruel joke that's bestowed on those less fortunate.

The weather was dreary and rain poured from the sky; ironic for this situation. He followed and gradually approached closer to the miserable and drenched woman, knowing the events about to come and yet, dreading it.

He hated being what he was, why did his kind have to be drawn to gloomy humans? Why did they have to feed off their sadness and put them out of their misery? Mostly, why couldn't they….he….make it better for them?

It's simple; humans fear the unknown and don't trust easily. Still, that didn't stop him from appearing in front of her, giving her the full view of his beautiful…hideous….form. She trembled in fear but didn't scream as he had received so many times before.

He asked quietly, for fear that she would break if he spoke any louder, "Why are you crying?" She shielded her face, trying to hide her tear stained eyes but didn't respond. He took a few steps closer and repeated his question.

This time she answered, "You wouldn't understand." He took another step, "Not unless you tell me." She hung her head, "I…I don't want to talk about it." He was within a foot now, "Please. Tell me."

She weakly looked up at him, "Why? You don't care." "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't concerned about you." She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, "Me?" "Yes. I'm worried about you." "Wh…Why?"

Honestly, he didn't know the answer to that. This one was different; she's actually speaking with him and not trying to run away and beg him not to end her life; which he usually had to do.

Humans usually left his kind no choice but to kill them, after feeding off their sorrows, to merely free them of their suffering if no sense could be talked into them, if they were able to that is. Maybe….just maybe….he could save this one without having to resort to that; but he's been disappointed many a time.

"I know you're hurting and want to make it better." She sniffed, "There's nothing you can do for me. I just…" He slowly, gently, reached out and touched her shoulder; she flinched a little but didn't push him away. "I want to die."

Those words about tore his heart in two, "No. Let me help you." She started to cry again, "I..It won't make…hic…..any difference." He frowned and tenderly embraced her lovingly, "I _can_ make the pain go away….if you wish it."

Once more, she didn't object to his touch, which actually made him smile just a little; something he hasn't been able to do in such a long time. "How?" When he didn't answer, he watched her shoulders slump broodingly.

He gently pushed her away and tilts her chin up to look at him, "I will tell you, but only if you let me know your sorrows." For whatever reason going through her fragile mind, she did.

* * *

He listened to every detail of her pain; no one gives her the time of day, being treated like an outcast, nothing she did was good enough to please her parents, can't even get away from them due to this rotten economy, losing so many of her beloved kittens due to sickness and couldn't help them since she didn't have the money to take them to the vet, her lover (her world) being taken from her by a drunk driver, and so much more.

A few tears fell from his eyes and couldn't help but wonder why this girl had to go through all that heart ache and for what…..nothing. Only through death would the pain truly go away in her eyes; yes, sadly that is true, however, he had a gift that could do just the same without ending her life. He was just afraid to use it.

He stroked her hair gently, "I have a proposition for you if you're interested. Mind you, it's dangerous." Once she calmed down enough to stop hiccupping she whispered, "What is it?" He caressed her cheek to wipe away a few more tears, "I can make the pain go away by….erasing all your memories."

Her eyes widened slightly, "Can you really do that?" He sighed, "Yes but I rather not resort to that." She clung to his shirt, "Please, I want you to. Make it all go away." He pursed his lips, "But you don't even understand the danger yet."

"I don't care, I just…..Why offer it if you don't want to do it?" He stroked her face, "Listen to me. It might do more harm than good, and you'll be confused and disoriented. I..I've done it once before but, the human freaked out and committed suicide from not knowing anything."

She frowned and asked, "But…I see. You won't be there." She pushed him away and shuffled off crying yet again but he pulled her back, hugging her back against his chest. "Shall I remain with you and take you away from this place then? I do desire it greatly."

He couldn't control himself from asking, if she was willing to accept her fate of receiving the lies he would have to give her, to fill in the gaps of her past when she awoke, then why couldn't she stay with him and let him care for her?

It was a short silence but she nodded, "That sounds nice." He turned her around and smiled lovingly at her. She gave him a weak smile but asked nervously, "Will it hurt?" "No, it'll be nothing more than a soothing kiss."

Her cheeks went pink from hearing the word 'kiss' but that's how it was. His kind sucks out the memory through the other's lips, but he would be gentle and not rough like so many others have done.

He tilted her head up higher and cupped her face, shielding them both from the pouring rain with his wings and cooed, "Ready?" She merely nodded and closed her eyes. He stroked her lower lip before softly pressing his warm lips upon her cold ones; due to the chilling rain.

It was a long, passionate kiss and it filled him with joy that he was making her feel loved. He could see it written on her face and feel it from her lips participating as well. He took occasional, gentle sucks; absorbing her sorrows and feeling her body relax all the more with each suckle.

He savored the taste of her sorrows, as heart wrenching as they were, but it satiated his hunger none the less. He prolonged the meaningful process out as long as he was able, catching her limp body once drained of all its memory and sorrow along with it.

He gave her one final firm kiss before scooping her up bridal style and expanded his wings. If he could gain her trust in such a short time he could do it again. As he flew off into the night, now free of clouds and lit by the stars, he had a new agenda to accomplish.

He would give her a new life, a new reason to live, a new anything and everything from giving him what they both desired…..love and happiness.

* * *

**Tobi *sniffs and hugs LOA*: That was so sad. Why LOA write a sad story? Even though it seems happy at the end.**

**LOA *hugs back*: Just trying to express some sadness I've had cooped up for so long and wished it were that easy to forget the pain we experience in life.**

**Tobi: And gain a new beginning with someone who cares. *smacks LOA upside the head* Don't you ever write a depressing story again! Tobi don't like them!**

**LOA: *rubs sore head*…..I'll try but no promises XP**

***I will make one more chapter to this*  
**

**_ALSO, the characters aren't really anybody in particular. I just wrote it like that so you readers can make them whoever you wanted them to be *use your imagination :)*_  
**


	2. Chapter 2

When she awoke a few days later, he was there with all the answers that he knew she was to ask. Initially, she was indeed frightened by his appearance for she didn't remember him and what he had done for her.

That was the only thing he wished she didn't forget; that _he_ saved her from her own sorrows. Still, that didn't stop him from carrying through with his heartfelt notions.

He spoke gently all the while as she asked him questions, at the time once she was over her shock of his appearance; naturally asking him what he was. He did of course.

He told her simple white lies that she was in an accident, getting hit in the head during a wreck, and has amnesia. Having no family due to being an orphan, living on the streets looking for food when he found her and took her in.

She listened intently to his every word, actually believing him from the look on her frail countenance. He was saddened that he had to lie, but he had no other choice.

How could he tell her that she was miserable for the reasons she told him, wanting to die, and him initially setting out to end her life as his kind does? It would make matters worse and break his heart to see her like that again.

She shed a few tears when he was through, with him wiping them away with a small smile cooing, "It'll be alright. I'm still here for you."

* * *

She fiddled with her shirt and murmured, "If only I could remember you." He gave her a soft smile and caressed her cheek, "You know me now and that's all that matters."

She actually smiled, a warm, thankful, and beautiful smile that made his heart rate quicken. It was the most wonderful sight that's ever been given to him. He couldn't help himself and leaned down to place a gentle kiss to her lips.

He felt her breathing hitch but didn't push him away from the sudden contact, she actually kissed back if shyly. He quickly pulled back apologizing, "Forgive me. I didn't mean to do that so soon."

"It's ok, but can I ask you something?" "Anything." "Were we...um….lovers?" He was taken aback tremendously, not believing what she just asked. The truth would be to tell her no but…should he tell her otherwise?

Why not? He cared deeply for her for so many reasons and did wish she would share his feelings. If anything, just love him in general. His hopes and wishes to love and be loved in return were being handed to him, for once in his lonely life.

He smiled and gently held her hand, "Yes, but as of now….." He wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. "You doubt I'll love you since I don't remember?"

He nodded, "I hope you'll grow to love me again, but there's no need to rush. I'll be here for you, no matter what decision you make."

She timidly scoots closer and embraces him firmly with a whisper, "I'm so sorry." He held her close with a murmur, "There's no need for repentance. It's not your fault."

Deep down he knew it was his own fault since he was the one who took her memory away, but hopefully, everything will turn out alright in the end.

* * *

*Time skip ~ Few months later*

Everything seemed to be going well and he was happy. She hadn't given him any sign on becoming his lover yet but he was still optimistic.

Still, he lived up to his promise, even though she didn't know it. He gave her a new life. Sure, she was sore at him from giving her responsibility, discipline when needed, and rules for living at his place but she soon got accustomed to it.

It was like teaching a child since she didn't know any better, but it was fairly easy after the first few weeks. It gave her something to do when he wasn't there and he gave her privileges as a reward.

She seemed to be very happy and smiled a lot, especially when he brought her a kitten since he knew she adored them.

He spent a great amount of quality time with her as well and was ecstatic all this time, even when she was angry with him. He knew that you can't get along with anyone without some arguments from time to time, but he handled the situations easily enough.

Even so, everything seemed wonderful until one night it changed….for the better.

Being courteous since she began to live with him, he had given her privacy and her own bedroom. He was at least allowed to kiss her good night, but this time she didn't want him to stop.

He was mildly surprised and curious to why now she needed him, but did he hesitate? No he didn't. He took great pleasure in molding his lips upon hers, gliding his tongue inside her welcoming mouth.

The creature could tell she was nervous and unfamiliar to what was happening, but he would give her pleasure. This was going to be the ultimate euphoria for them both.

He traveled the gentle kisses down along her neck, his hands exploring every inch of her petite body. _Oh, how I waited for this moment._ She blushed when all clothing was removed and wouldn't look him in the eye. _Innocent. _

He took in every detail of the flushed human below him as did she; though she turned redder across the cheeks, he knew she liked what she saw. Teasingly, he rubbed and suckled on her swollen nipples as she gripped his hair, scarcely making any noise aside from a few gasps.

* * *

He didn't mind, in fact, he found it quite alluring. He feathered his hand downward to fondle her womanhood, ever so delicately. A few loud gasps and hitched breaths came out, to which he savored.

When he felt like she was prepared enough he positioned his manhood at her entrance, pushing in just slightly. He leaned down and whispered against her ear, "Are you ready?" She bit her lip but gave him the nod. _Shy._

He pushed in all the way with a firm, yet gentle thrust; already pumping in and out of her at a moderate steady pace. The human's back arched and whimpered a great deal, but showed no signs of it being painful.

_Whether or not she was a virgin, she sure is taut._ He reached down and held her, placing small kisses across her face, locking lips with her once again.

The angel/demonic creature relished every moment of their love making. From the beginning to this very moment, the feel of her small hands gripping his back, the tightening of the legs wrapped around his waist, the whimpers and moans that were overflowing into his mouth, and this intoxicating feeling that is overwhelming his senses.

It was too wonderful beyond words.

He felt the need to go harder and faster, not losing his momentum to keep them both completely induced in this epic feat. The stirring building up in his lower regions was about to burst and couldn't hold it in any longer.

He murmured as he held her even more firmly, "I'm going." She frantically nodded her head yes followed by a particular vocal cry of bliss. She had reached the point of no return.

He growled, yes a moan-like growl, against her neck as his body went rigid when he too released. Both bodies writhed from their orgasms, the purest ecstasy, holding each other tightly until it subsided.

As he rested his glistening forehead against her own, he couldn't help but grin. Finally, finally he had found true happiness.

It was even better than he could've imagined when she murmured those three words against his lips. He cooed back, "And I you." He shifted his body to the side, embracing her against him when she fell asleep.

Before he followed suite he couldn't help but wonder.

_If only it could be done to rid every individual of their miseries, help them experience true happiness, and give them love as he had done for her. _

_If only….._

* * *

_Fini ;)_**  
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***Tobi and LOA snuggling on couch***

**Tobi: That was beautiful Tobi cried.**

**LOA: *sniff* Me too.**

**Tobi: What made you make it romantic LOA?**

**LOA: This story was deep and I felt like this suited it. Hope you readers liked it.**

**Tobi: Now that it's not depressing anymore XP. Review for Tobi! He's a good boy for commenting.**


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